"Vines" continued

Once home I turned to look behind me before opening our front door and shook my head, thinking I was being ridiculous.

"Too many horror movies," I chuckled and entered into the welcoming relief of our air conditioned home.

Because I was drenched with sweat and the sky was turning dark, the first thing I did was peel off my clothes and take a shower. The water cooled my body temperature and began clearing my mind so I could process the events of my little adventure.

How do we know what's real and what's not? What our mind produces vs something else outside of us producing it? And like one of the characters points out in the novel "The Physick Book Of Deliverance Dane" by Katherine Howe, "Just because you don't believe in it, doesn't mean it isn't real." Sure the novel is a work of fiction, but the statement was true. There are always elements of truth in fiction.

I realized I was staring out the bathroom window up at the canopy of maple leaves coming from the huge tree on the other side of our back yard fence which, with all the rain this Spring, was nearly touching the roof again. A distant rumble of thunder had me finishing up my shower a moment later. I wrapped towels around myself and went to find my journal.

I sat at the kitchen table for a long time, pen in hand, hand against the side of my face, half in thought, half zoning out. Had the heat and humidity affected me too much while I was out there? Was I just spooking myself, which I was prone to doing.

Vines

These vines were unlike anything I've ever seen, in my garden or wrapped around the trees outside our back yard fence. They'd been there so long, their lengths has turned to bark, as thick as 2 inches around in some places. How long had this barn been here? Better question yet, how long had the vines been wrapped around it? They looked older than the barn itself but I don't know how that could be possible.

Unlike most plants which wrapped themselves around a structure, these hadn't forced their ways into every nook & cranny of the surfaces they covered and weren't jeopardizing the barns' stability. No trees grew up and through what seemed to be a vine covered hole in the roof.

"Amazing!" I said aloud, standing in front of it, camera in hand, not moving.

I had wanted to come out and take pictures of this place since we moved here nearly 4 years ago and decided during breakfast that today was the day. With it being only a short distance up the road from our home, I set out on foot.

I quickly regretted walking because the humidity was over bearing even though it wasn't yet mid morning. The air was thick, filling my lungs with moisture that I quickly began sweating out with each step forward. It clouded the air, blotting out some of the summer sun's harshness.

Sweat rolled down my back, snapping me out of the zone I'd drifted into, back to my purpose for being here and I started taking pictures, walking slowly around to each side.

The barn itself seemed to be fully intact, even its' paint appeared preserved by the thick overgrowth. I felt compelled to reach out & touch the smooth grey bark. As my hand rested there, it grew warm and I felt tingling sensations start in the center of my palm, along with a throbbing pounding in my head & chest. I pulled my hand away, feeling a bit like I'd been shocked. Not the first time I'd experienced this, but it always surprised me.

Of course the vines were alive and therefore had energy. But why were they emiting such energy that I could feel it? I'd never had that experience with any kind of plant before. Suddenly being out here by myself no longer seemed like a good idea and I quickly moved away from the barn, on the verge of panick.

Back out on the sidewalk, I stopped to look back. What were those vines protecting?

The First Time I Tried Writing (And I'm Not Talking ABC's)

I don't remember if it was late Winter or early Spring, but I remember it being warm & sunny, one of those first kinds of days after what seemed like a long, cold Winter. It was a Sunday morning. I had just watched an episode on PBS of a British TV version of Little Women. Before this, I'd only known of the book, which I bought at one of the school book fairs. (6th grade and I still have it!) I so adored watching it and seeing my favorite parts of the story, especially Jo, come to life.

The day before, my new desk from the used furniture store had been delivered and was still sitting in the living room in front of the large window because Mom hadn't taken apart the old desk to throw out yet. I vaguely remember the desk being brown, but I'm unsure if that memory is correct, and that I was wearing something purple. A sweatshirt?

I sat down at the desk and stared out that window, which was open wide. There was a hint of flowers in the air, like there is when everything starts coming to life again after their long slumbers. Looking off to the right was the huge Cross on top of the St. James Church steeple, darkened & green with time and weather. I was always amazed it never got struck by lightning since it was the tallest thing in the immediate area. To my left I could see trees, backs of houses, driveways, an alley and the street beyond ours. Back then, Mom and I lived on the third floor of a World War II era Brownstone style building, long divided into separate apartments. This was also the "view" from my room as well.

Suddenly, I wanted to write. Well, more accurately, I wanted to be like Jo March and write stories. I got up and rummaged in my old desk for an extra composition notebook (you remember, those thick black & white marble notebooks?) and my favorite pen of that moment. (I've always had a thing for pens and notebooks). My Aunt Judy had given me the pen along with many other great stocking stuffers that Christmas. It had a purple heart for a cap, wrote in purple ink and the ink smelled like grapes! Not like grape bubble gum or cough medicine (bleah!), but like real grapes. (Guess I also had a thing for purple too!) I took my findings back to my new desk and sat down again.

I opened the comp book and stared down at the blank, lined pages. The I stared out the window again. Why could I possibly write?! Well, Jo wrote stories. I can write stories. I can write stories about Jo! And Meg, Beth & Amy!

I have no idea what I actually wrote that late sunny Sunday morning. I know I made up my own Little Women story and I know I took it into the kitchen where Mom had been much of this time. I don't remember her reaction. She's never been a big fan of my writing anything, so who knows? I amy have been about 10 years old. 11? I'm sure she replied with something along the lines of, "That's nice dear" and I went happily back to my new desk to write more.

From that moment I first learned of Little Women's Jo March, I wanted to be a writer. From the moment I sat down that day to create my own story, I was a writer.

Welcome To The World Baby Girl!

Introducing Grand Niece Caroline Jo, born at 10:06pm TX time last night, 6lbs 9ozs.

Another Monkey Wrench

Hubby got laid off today.

He's happy. I'm bawling & on the verge of getting sick.

If he's crying wolf again (yeah, sometimes he thinks he's funny), I'm going to puke on him and maybe that will straiten out his sense of humor.

Tomato's, Raspberries and Parlsey, Oh My!

Ah Summer. Gotta love it sometimes!

Mish-Mosh

Friday, July 17, 2009

Recently I’ve been journaling a lot. (Notice how I haven’t been blogging a lot? Well, to me I'm not blogging a lot). Here are some excerpts, if you will:

Friday 7/10/09

I feel it today. My calling. To write about SH. (A place, not a person). To write about the NJ I know, to write about NJ in the non Soprano's/Real Housewives of NJ way. To write about my love of gardening. To write about my love (compulsion for) of taking pictures. My love for my husband. I feel will be able to write my fiction more freely once I'm done with my story. For better and for worse, I must get it all out. I feel such a desire to take my new camera and take pictures all over town, SH, H & H Woods. I actually FEEL it!

My book, the one I proofed this Spring with all the blog posts, maybe I need to work other parts of my story into that, along with the blog posts. To make it a memoir of my life and blogging. Something like that anyway. Not sure if that’s the way to put it though.

Monday 7/13/09

I'm feeling off lately yet on the verge of something. Precarious regardless.

I’ve wondered before where the memoirs are from women before they have money and before they get all the “stuff” most think will make them happy & they find out it doesn’t, before they go to far and distant lands (aka travel)? Where are these books? Why can I not recall any at this moment, nor remember reading any?

Then I wondered this afternoon if anyone would read a book about those other times? Would they really? Would they like it? Or is the trend now to read these memoirs about women who “have it all” and aren’t happy despite “having it all” and for so many readers to dislike the author to the point of hatred & disgust for being selfish, unappreciative and whiney? Would a book about the times before the money or about an average woman who’s been through a lot and actually survived be read?

Tuesday 7/14/09

I wrote earlier (well, twittered actually) that I feel raw and wide open.

Not twittered: And I feel the pull of the seasons, feel in tune with things below the surface.

I wonder what's going on with me?!

Wednesday 7/15/09

Quote from Felicity, Season 1:

“…It’s something I really need to do. I guess we all have our own war stories, but they’re meant to be shared. They have to be. ‘Cause these stories are what brings us together and they keep us alive.” ~Sally, Felicity’s pen pal

I am 34. Thirty frickin’ four! When the hell did this happen?

And what is wrong with my emotions lately?

So, what am I? Seriously, what am I? Who am I?!

Back to the present.

Part of my problem lately, I believe, is what I’ve been reading, which is “The Unlikely Lavender Queen” by Jeannie Ralston. ***POSSIBLE SPOILERS IF YOU KEEP READING!*** I was enthralled with her writing from the first 2 paragraphs. It was beautiful and descriptive. I liked it through the Prologue. Then I became frustrated. Very frustrated. I felt as thought the writing changed some how. Maybe it was the tone or the subject matter? I’m still unsure. Maybe the writing hadn’t actually changed at all. Her husband Robb reminded me very much of an ex-boyfriend of mine, one I’d spent 6 years with, only thankfully, they’re unalike in one big way. (J was physically and sexually abusive to me along with all of his other lovely personality traits). Her allowing herself to get so swept up in his lack of consideration, fly by the seat of his pants, passive aggressive (domineering) ways just frustrated the hell out of me.

Her struggles with Post Partum Depression apparently brought back to the surface my own struggles with depression and I became agitated. I stayed agitated until that portion of the book was over, even when I wasn’t reading it and doing other things!

My reactions were unexpected. I haven’t had that happen in a very long time, where the emotions of the characters in what I’m reading (fictional or non) affect my own so much. But once I realized what I thought was going on, I’ve become more calm and settled again.

Of course, we’re discussing this book from the 15^th through the 31^st at Chicks on Lit (I’m leading) and it’s not going well at all. I seriously want to bang my head against a wall. I've got an 'initial thoughts' thread for the book, which was going fairly well and a 'discussion questions' thread which isn't. I can't keep the discussion going when the other (3) people participating don't answer the questions (or answer questions they've made up for themselves but haven't indicated) or they just post one sentence replies (to a couple of answers?) and when they apparently want to whine about the author whining & how much they hate her husband and her for putting up with him! I was hoping this book would generate some good discussions alá Eat Pray Love (though very different books) but I feel as though they're being extremely judgmental to the brink of immaturity where they can't discuss the book as a result! And one participant has said she's not reading past page 50 but is staying in the discussion. It's over 270 pages! How do you do that? And now there hasn’t been any posts in either thread for a day. I thought if I answered the discussion questions I posted, that would get the others to do the same. Wrong. VERY frustrating. (There’s that word again!) I was really looking forward to this group read. Ah well. Sorry for the rant on that one. (I'm getting over it already, really).

Anyhoo!

That seems to be about it for me at this moment. I’ve got more journaling to do and hope to get a more coherent piece together by next week.

Jersey Girls Have The Best Tomato's

I actually put a bumper sticker on our suv which says just that. (Hubby shouldn't have pointed it out to me if he didn't want me to start partaking in his bumper sticker fetish. A fellow Marine gave me one which says "I have one of the Few Good Men" for shits & giggles because he knew I'd put it on the suv).

Anyhoo, Summer Tomato's are finally coming off the vine. Yay! A little worried I don't see anymore tiny yellow flowers on the plants but I'm going to remain optimistic.

Isn't She Lovely? (For Kalanna!)

Opened by noon!

Morning Surprise

After another difficult time waking this morning and an appliance delivery arriving while still in my nightie (Superman ain't got nothing on my clothes changing skills), I ventured to the kitchen for breakfast, but first pulled open the patio door blind and saw this! My Mardi Gras rose bush is blooming again.

Now there is a rather large Robin playing the staring game with Pinky kitty through the screen door and what seems to be a heated arguement going on between a Carolina Wren and a Squirrel over on the back fence.

11:19pm

The whir of fans. Cool yet humid Summer air scented with Lavender and Violets. Freshly laundered sheets. Feeling more calm.

Beach Concert, Home Away From Home and Home & Garden Photo's (Scroll down for each album)

My Best Ever, Kick Arse Pasta Salad Recipe

Since I literally just whipped this up yesterday afternoon, do everything to your taste ~ I have no precise measurements!

Salad:
cold mini pasta bow ties (half box)
chopped green olives
chopped cukes
diced red onions
chopped mushrooms
diced peppers (red, green, yellow, orange)
crunched up bacon (12 slices)
halved cherry tomato's
halved small mozz. cheese balls
diced roasted red peppers
a few healthy hand fulls of shredded parm. cheese

Toss well

Dressing:
garlic powder
white pepper
fresh ground pepper
parsley flakes
basil flakes
a generous helping of grated parm. cheese
a couple of cap fulls of balsamic vinegar
a few heaping cap fulls of red wine vinegar with garlic
less than a cap full of extra virgin olive oil
2 tables spoons spicy brown mustard

Wisk until well blended, then pour over the salad and mix until everything's coated. Keep in the fridge until serving time.

Annual Wednesday Night Concerts on the Beach...

Have begun once again! Last two weeks were cancelled because of the weather. It has been and is a GLORIOUS day! As close to perfect weather as you can get. Sunny, cotton ball clouds, nice breeze, no humidity and temps not too hot & not too chilly. I had the windows & doors open all day. A bit of heaven on earth.

I made a kick ass pasta salad, the best pasta salad I've ever made to go with left over fried chicken for dinner here on the beach. We've got some beers. I've got "The Unlikely Lavender Queen" to read and I've got a hot pretzel. I'm with Vic & a friend is stopping by. Life is good at the moment!

This Past Saturday in the Garden (in Photo's)

1~ 1st Cosmo bloom
2~ 1st ripening Tomato
3~ Plane that usually goes out & down the beach was flying over head
4~ Zucchini bloom & Parsley
5~ Roses (see those 2 Wolly Aphids?! Little bas...)

Woolly Aphids.

They are on 2 of my Rose bushes. And on my Coreopsis/Salvia. The trees (and vines) were trimmed back to the fence on Wednesday and the debris sat all over this area for quite some time before the landscapers cleaned it up. I noticed the nasty white little buggers this morning and immediately did a G search because I didn't know what they were. They tend to infest trees, but also infest bushes and flowers. If they begin to eat what they are infesting, the plant will become distressed and die.

Some ways to get rid of Mealy bugs (also known as Woolly Aphids):

Use a mixture of warm water and dish soap and warm water. Mix approximately 1 tablespoon of soap per one pint of water. Use a spray bottle to apply the mixture while the water is still warm. The soap will help penetrate the waxy coating and will kill the mealy bugs. Some mealy bugs may be underground when you treat and kill the first batch of bugs, so it's important to retreat about one week after the first treatment.

Use jalapeno juice, Tabasco sauce, or a mixture of hot water and cayenne pepper. Parasites that infest plants in your garden can often be eradicated with simple pepper juices from your home. Woolly aphids can often be killed with garlic as well, so if you have any garlic extract in your home, put it in a spray bottle to use on the mealy bugs.

Rubbing alcohol and soap. Mix straight rubbing alcohol (no water), and 1/2 a teaspoon of dish soap. The dish soap, again, works to break down the waxy coating, and the rubbing alcohol will dehydrate the mealy bugs, killing them. (*I've used this and it seems to be working. I've seperated the veggies containers from the ones with the Aphids because they don't seem to have them and I don't want to use rubbing alcohol on my herbs & veggies. I hope the flowers survive*).

Other soaps, diluted 1 tablespoon to 1 pint water. Besides dish soap, you could mix water with the Murphy's Oil Soap or Dr. Bronner's organic peppermint soap. Not only will this kill mealy bugs, but it will keep other pests away, because parasitic insects don't like the strong scent of peppermint.

ICK, ICK, ICK double ICK!

10:34pm

Glorious evening. Delightfully cool. Wood smoke scents the air. Lightning bugs blink. Moon rise behind cheese cloth clouds. View of it so different here at the coast than up in the mountains. Quiet. Summer or Fall? If I didn't know, I wouldn't care.

Happy Independence Day 2009!

A safe & Happy 4th of July all! While we celebrate in our different ways, take time to remember what happened on this day in 1776, the sacrifices made to make our Country and the ones made to keep her safe. (Climbing down from soap box now)

Greetings From The Kittatinny Mountains! (1 of 2)

There was a photo with that previous post but I'll be derned if I know what happened to it! I took this one a few minutes ago and it's now official that I'm in love with this place! What a beautiful setting for our 1st evening here, sitting out by the fire, the lake a mere 15 paces from us. I was a little disappointed with not seeing our home town's fireworks last night (since we came up here) and there aren't any fireworks up in this area at all (town's just didn't have the money for it - it's a shame really) but this more than makes up for it!

Greetings From The Kittatinny Mountains! (2 of 2)

Despite a few odd mishaps & shit fits (Hubby not mói for once) we arrived safely during a thunderstorm and started settling in. That's mainly what this weekend is about, getting settled in and set up. More shit fits ensued earlier today (again Hubby, not mói) but things are coming together and we're finally starting to relax. It cleared up late this morning, we had a storm this afternoon and now it's breezy & perfect with blue skies & cotton clouds. We'll be up here whenever we can and I'm now really looking forward to it!