Knitting

After finishing Ann Hoods The Knitting Circle the other day, I realized I tend to knit when I am unable to garden. Gardening is to me what knitting is to knitters! I knit when the weather turns cool and there isnt much to do in the garden but watch the last blooms of the year. I knit through the winter, stopping when the garden catalogs begin to arrive in the mailbox. I knit during the times of Summer and early fall when it is just too hot and humid for me to be outside in it and I hide out in the air conditioning. I knit when I am unable to write. I knit when I feel the stirring to do so in my chest.

Lovely Afternoon In The Garden!

I brought the old man out in the back yard with me to sit on the comfy lounger in the shadey breeze! About to have a snack and do a bit of reading before its time to straiten up and get ready for dinner and the SATC movie with the girls! I put 35 minutes in on the tread mill already too!

SATC Opens Today!

Another View From Where We Live

Hubby wanted to go fishing this evening. Wanted me to tag along. Wasnt going to because I felt crappy all day. Was going to sit and read in the back yard even though its kinda buggy out tonight with no breeze. But figured I could read out here just the same. VERY BUGGY out here! Absolutely no breeze whatsoever! Getting bit by nats or sand fleas like crazy! But the view is gorgeous!

Memorial Day (Observed) 2008

Hubby and I participated in 4 cemetary Memorial ceremonies and 5 monument Memorial ceremonies with our American Legion post this morning and early afternoon, something neither of us has done before! (I was originally supposed to participate, just takd pics, but they needed someone to make sure Taps was played on the cd player during each ceremony and I was glad to help!) I say our American Legion post because I joined the Ladies Auxillary today! I figured since I now officially run our Posts website that I might as well! It remains to be seen if either one is really a good idea! Hope my getting involved works out!

My Hubby On Our 3rd Wedding Anniversary!

Together 4 years yesterday! Married (officially!) today!

Indy Jones Opens Today!

Indy Jones Opens Today!

12 Minutes After Midnight...

12 minutes into my 33rd bday and not only am I on the verge of tears, but stuffing my face with 1 of those 100 calorie snack pks of Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn. An indication of how this 33rd yr is going to go?! Oh, I have been reading in bed since about 10p this evening, once Hubby was asleep. Trying to finish Debbie Macombers new one called Twenty Wishes by tomorrow cause its due at the library today. Not sure I can finish. Watched Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade this afternoon. Going to see the new Indy movie down town tomorrow and looking forward to it. Sex And The City will be down town next Friday. Getting tired, so I guess I should try to sleep and start my 33rd year off on the right foot! (Actually, I was born after 10p on May 21st, so I technically have about 22 more hours before officially turning 33!)

Well Here It Is!

Yup, that is me! I made my last tuition payment and took my last exam on March 30th! Bout time this showed up!

My Sargent At Arms!

This evening, Hubby was officially sworn in as the Sargent At Arms of his American Legion Post by the County Officers, along with the other Officers. The Ladies Auxillary Officers were sworn in as well. A nice, though slightly disorganized, ceremony. Dinner followed. Hubby and I got all dressed up! No pics of me, sorry! Maybe in another 20 less pounds!

My Nana

I think this pic was taken around 1999. Nana passed away 8 years ago today. It has been raining heavy all day, cold and nasty. I have been getting things ready for the town yard sale most of today and running errands with Hubby since he got home from work. We drove past her cemetary on the way home, I said Hi Nana like always. But I did not remember until moments ago that she passed away 8 years ago today. I feel bad now. I miss her more with each passing year, thinking of her nearly every day. There are 2 other pics of her that I have to keep away because when they are out, I end up having dreams of her where I wake sobbing and it feels as though I just lost her. I do not think I was able to mourn enough when she passed though. Hubby and I were married on this day 3 years ago in FL, which brought me much needed joy to ease the pain. I forgot about that too! This is what happens when I do not check the calendar every morning. I love you Nana! I love you!

Check This Out!

Look At This Little Sweetie!

Grand niece Kenedie Rose was born this past Tuesday, May 6th! She and Mama neice April came home last night and we got to see her this evening!

Yesterday and Today

Yesterday
I did end up taking a walk to buy flowers yesterday afterall.

The walk there was windy with rumbles of thunder coming from the dark grey clouds. I asked Brianna which flowers she wanted me to pick and felt drawn to the ones I picked.

The walk home was still and disgustingly humid! I talked with her along the way about the flowers and where to put them.

Once home, I put my treasures on the patio table and changed into a tank top and shorts. I lit both of my Blessed Mother Mary candles, placing one on the mantle and one on the patio table. Afraid it was going to pour at any moment, I set to placing the flat of magenta Petunia's and 1/2 flat of pale lilac colored Petunia's into their new homes. I took some pics which I'll post soon.

Honestly, I did a bit too much physically, given the humidity and just having had an i.v. treatment 2 days before, but I kept plugging away, chest pains & all until I was finished! Then I sat for a long while.

When the rain finally came, Hubby was already home and he helped me bring my books & journals in from the patio. I took in the Mary candle and put it opposite the other one on the mantle in our living room.

I left them lit until about 11pm, just before bed. Hubby was sleeping. I went out to the living room and nelt down on the couch in front of the mantle and talked to Brianna again and said a prayer. Then I reluctantly put out their flames.

All that kept repeating through my mind was "I love you, I love you, I love you..." Over and over again.

Shortly after, I wrote to her in the same journal I've kept for 9 years now. Then I fell deeply asleep until 4:30 this morning.

Today
The first of 5 inches of expected rain started falling early this morning. (Or late last night depending on how you look at it!) It grew more steady with each half hour. The wind was back as well, gusting. The temperature was also dropping from the 60's to the 40's! It was a down right nasty day, all day!

My cousin and I had planned to go to the Cooperative Extensions' Spring Flower Fair today, but both agreed on the phone this morning that neither of us were interested in going in weather like this!

So, I futzed around on the computer for a while and then went out into the living room and onto the couch to get some of that rest I'm supposed to have been getting every day since my i.v. this Tuesday!

It was a day of lying on the couch, reading, journaling, gazing out at my garden from the kitchen table when I needed a snack and snuggling with the kitties! (They were all to happy to oblige me!) Not a bad day in the least!

Now I am exhausted again. It's late and we've a long day ahead of us tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep!

I had my 4th I.V. treatment at home on Tuesday. It left me very tired and wheezy, but ok. Yesterday, because I woke feeeling fine, I did a little too much off the bat and found myself having 2 big dizzy spells & back to being as exhausted as I was the previous evening!

I knew I should rest, but I didn't want to go back inside, so I sat in the sun in one of the adirondack chairs you've seen many times in my photo slideshows here. For as long as I've had them where they are now, I've never sat in either of them! (Since last summer when the relandscaping was done?!) It was very windy which made sitting in the sun so comfortable and relaxing! (Gorgeous weather but the wind blew pollen around like crazy so everything was glowing with a greenish coating of it by dinner! I had so many sneezing fits!)

Initially, I wrote in my journal for awhile, about some things I did outside, a few things I'd like to do out back to make things look better and seeing the 1st butterfly of the season! Then I started pondering what I was going to do for Brianna today. (My daughter, gone from me now 9 years ago today).

And this is what I wrote: "Lighting a candle in Church doesn't feel the same anymore. Perhaps I'm no longer begging God's forgiveness and praying that He not take my choices out on her? Or perhaps my 'Church' is my garden. This is where I feel most connected. This is where I feel I belong. This is where I feel her. In every pink flower, I feel her. I feel her, I know I do."

Feeling very tired, I stopped writing. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Almost immediately I began to drift and almost immediately I felt a presence to my left. It startled me and I opened my eyes. Nothing there besides the Azalea & Rhodedendrun bushes! I closed my eyes and began drifting. Faintly, in my left ear, as if so very far away, I heard, "Mama... Mama!" and felt the presence to my left again, which startled me once more! Realizing now what I'd heard, I tried to grasp that far away girl's voice, tried to drift away again so that the presence and the voice would come back, but of course it didn't work!

I think it's very much like author Liz Gilbert talked about with her search for God in Eat Pray Love and during her Oprah appearances ~ if you try to hold onto it (that feeling, that presence), it immediately begins to leave you because you're not ready for it yet. You have to be open to it, not try to posess it.

I actually slept longer than I thought I had when I discovered a light sun burn on my chest and arms before bed!

I think I'm going to take a walk to buy some flowers. I'm not sure if I'll stop by Church to light a candle or not.

A Little Reading In The Garden!

Well, on the patio actually! I was far from feeling good yesterday, but I wanted to be outside, not in! The weather was ok, cloudy with weak sun peaking through now and again. Initially it was humid and that took the chill out of the air, so it was nice! I'm reading The Red Leather Diary by Lily Koppel for this months group read for the 'Chicks on Lit' club I belong to on GoodReads. I was asked to take charge of the reading schedule and discussion questions since it was my nomination for this months read! Very interesting book so far, especially if you love Manhattan! (Or at least the idea of it anyway!)