this past monday, i was with my husband, our nephew, his girlfriend & his father in a nj court room, waiting nearly 3 hours for our nephew to be called & for that particular county's prosecutor to advise the judge that there was no objection on the state's end that our nephew have his weapons returned. (my husband's family are long time hunter's - not for trophy).
about 2 months ago, our nephew's ex girlfriend was somehow able to get a restraining order on him. not because he'd ever done anything in the least bit violent towards her, but because she was pissed at him for breaking up with her. last month in court, the judge found the grounds under which the complaint was filed by her to be unfounded and it was dismissed and the restraining order disolved.
i was furious when i'd first heard about the whole thing.
over 2 years ago, i was at my former town's police dept at 2:30am, with a police officer trying to get a judge on the phone to issue a temp restraining order against my ex - he'd been at the house several times that night and i could see him sneaking around on the property - he'd been stalking me at work, stalking myself & my husband (seperately and together) and stalking my mother - the officer knew my ex and told the judge that there was a history of domestic violence and told him that he knew my ex and that there was something not right and that the temp restraining order needed to be issued.
the judge told me that because my ex had not done anything physically violent or tried to do anything physically violent to me, my husband or my mother that he wasn't going to issue the order. i told him it was a joke - i was trying to prevent it from getting that far. he told me i could petition the court myself to get an order. the officer apologized to me the entire way home & told me to call him if anything else happened. i was so upset and let down, i never did petition the court & thankfully, nothing ever came of it after that night.
so, here i am, in this court room monday, listening to all these "dissolving restraining order" cases (1 of which, for sure, he's going to beat the tar out of her again - she walked out with her head down, he walked out with his head held high) and "violating restraining order" cases and the floowing hit me:
this is why people die and more times than not, it's women and children.
every man there for "1st offense violation of restraining order" got 12 months probation to be released that day. THAT'S IT! what the f?! 2nd offense, 2nd offense, they were warned, is mandatory 30 days in jail - at least they have that now, i guess! my brother in law violated his restraining order at least a dozen times about 10 years ago and never set foot in jail.
one man was already serving 364 days with about 6 months left to go, sent his ex wife a letter which was his 3rd violation of the restraining order and his sentence?! 120 days to run concurrent with his current sentence! (not tagged onto the end of it!?) and the prosecutor advised the judge that his ex wife wanted to be notified of his release and is still in fear of him and always will be!
another was DISMISSED because the victim was too scared to appear in court and go ahead with the charges!
one of the 1st offenders had actually violated his order 2 or 3 previous times, but because she told him it was ok to come over, she dropped the charges, but when he showed up drunk & violent without an invite, she decided to follow through! so he got 12 months probation & released that day!
again: THIS IS WHY PEOPLE DIE - THIS IS WHY WOMEN & CHILDREN DIE.
i've seen it so many times on the news where women have restraining orders and they keep begging for the police & court to help them and they end up dead. courts/laws/judges/prosecutors/lawyers must be the same as here every place else in this country when it comes to this.
ENFORCEMENT OF RESTRAINING ORDERS AS WE KNOW IT, AS IT STANDS TODAY, IS A CRUEL, SAD JOKE.
i don't know how it can be changed, but, i sure as hell am going to look into doing so. i may not be in those shoes anymore, but, i will never forget how it felt.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
As of today, 5/24/06!
i'm finally up to date with my garden pics! i know, it doesn't look like much to me either and every time i think things look good, i turn around and hate it within the wk!
i've been concentrating on the front alot up until yesterday when i tackled the ivy! needless to say, you'll see a huge difference out back when i post those pics! (which i hope to take tomorrow).
rome wasn't built in a day! and it took me nearly 5 years before i was satisfied with my old garden! these things take time... (yes, i'm trying to remind myself!)
As of 5/2/06
These are so out of order! Instead of being 1 through 4, top down to bottom, they came out as 2, 4, 1, 3!!
4/27/06 cont'd
This is the back "yard" area that needs a lot of work, especially along the fence because of all the ivy coming through.
From the Beginning... Sort of!
This isn't exactly the beginning of my new gardens, but, it's pretty early in the game! These are out front. There's raspberry's in the large pot at the back, on the porch, lemon balm in ground infront of winnie the pooh (sitting down, not on the porch) and in front of the lb towards the bottom of the pic is my garden stone that the neighbor kid & his friends broke 3 times! (by jumping over the bushes)
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Treating Myself
May 19th, 2006 11:22:42 am
i've never lost that somewhat giddy anticipation that leads up to a birthday, holiday or snowstorm, which is probably part of the reason i feel a bit let down afterwards! (i'll let you guess which one is coming up for me out of what i listed!!)
so, i'm going to treat myself this wkend!
life is what you make of it - though sometimes it would be nice for others to make it special for you (and sometimes they do!) - you're always that one person who can make it special regardless!
(see, i'm trying! i really am! my therapist would be proud! then again, maybe it's the sinus med talking! that is a bit cheery and philosophical for me!)
i've never lost that somewhat giddy anticipation that leads up to a birthday, holiday or snowstorm, which is probably part of the reason i feel a bit let down afterwards! (i'll let you guess which one is coming up for me out of what i listed!!)
so, i'm going to treat myself this wkend!
life is what you make of it - though sometimes it would be nice for others to make it special for you (and sometimes they do!) - you're always that one person who can make it special regardless!
(see, i'm trying! i really am! my therapist would be proud! then again, maybe it's the sinus med talking! that is a bit cheery and philosophical for me!)
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Digital camera's, digital pic's & uploading images, oh my!
wow! it worked! yeah, i know for some this would be as easy as breathing, but, i'm glad i finally found a place where i can place some of my pics for some of my garden blog friends to see since i still can't figure out how to upload my pics there!! huh... you do learn something new every day!!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Tried on a bunch of different templates today for this here blog!
i did a lot of changing and updating to my blog today, (description & profile) so i thought, why not try a different template?! (i seem to have gotten a whole lot more comfy with this blogging thing!)
and as you can see, i ended up right back where i started with this template!!!
i like the set up on this one and most of the others i tried were reversed! oh well! can't say i didn't try!!
and as you can see, i ended up right back where i started with this template!!!
i like the set up on this one and most of the others i tried were reversed! oh well! can't say i didn't try!!
Monday, May 08, 2006
How Appropriate
How Appropriate...
May 8th, 2006 10:04:21 am
that it's cloudy & a bit dreary today, i thought as i awoke this morning. it's 7 years today that my baby girl passed. (i'm sorry that i don't get into further detail - the circumstances are too private & painful for me to discuss.)
i don't know what to do with myself today. i'd like to lite a candle for her, but, may have to wait until my husband gets home since i can't drive & it would be a heck of a walk from here.
there's no weeding or watering to be done since i did it over the wkend. (so much fun, by the way, when you've torn your right url ligament & triceps tendon & you're right handed!!)
i guess i could tidy up our bedroom since it looks like the laundry bags exploded in here!
i could walk to the library and ck in on my online class that i cannot access from home anymore because the site "remembers" that my computer "rejected" a "cookie" (accidentially) and since the site essentially "remembers," resetting my internet options will not change the fact that i cannot access it. (all that got me was spyware cookies & the alphacleaner trojan which hijacked 34 or my files before i got rid of it!)
maybe i'll just get lost on here for the next few hours!
i just don't know.
i'm a bit numb acutally. which, i guess, is an improvement over how i've been on this day in past years. but, in some ways i feel guilty that i'm not an absolute mess this year. i told a friend who's husband passed away recently that it doesn't necessarily get better - you just realize one day that it's different. i'm not sure that it gives credence to the addage "time heals all wounds" though. i'm not sure some things heal - you just learn to live with them.
i wish there was a specific place i could go but there isn't. once we own our own home, i'd like to make a small garden for her there. i'm not sure about doing that here. here it couldn't be permanent. i don't know where i'd feel a connection to her.
oh great! the landscapers are here! so much for peace and quiet! wonder why today? they're usually here on tuesday's!
oh well. somehow i'll muddle through!
May 8th, 2006 10:04:21 am
that it's cloudy & a bit dreary today, i thought as i awoke this morning. it's 7 years today that my baby girl passed. (i'm sorry that i don't get into further detail - the circumstances are too private & painful for me to discuss.)
i don't know what to do with myself today. i'd like to lite a candle for her, but, may have to wait until my husband gets home since i can't drive & it would be a heck of a walk from here.
there's no weeding or watering to be done since i did it over the wkend. (so much fun, by the way, when you've torn your right url ligament & triceps tendon & you're right handed!!)
i guess i could tidy up our bedroom since it looks like the laundry bags exploded in here!
i could walk to the library and ck in on my online class that i cannot access from home anymore because the site "remembers" that my computer "rejected" a "cookie" (accidentially) and since the site essentially "remembers," resetting my internet options will not change the fact that i cannot access it. (all that got me was spyware cookies & the alphacleaner trojan which hijacked 34 or my files before i got rid of it!)
maybe i'll just get lost on here for the next few hours!
i just don't know.
i'm a bit numb acutally. which, i guess, is an improvement over how i've been on this day in past years. but, in some ways i feel guilty that i'm not an absolute mess this year. i told a friend who's husband passed away recently that it doesn't necessarily get better - you just realize one day that it's different. i'm not sure that it gives credence to the addage "time heals all wounds" though. i'm not sure some things heal - you just learn to live with them.
i wish there was a specific place i could go but there isn't. once we own our own home, i'd like to make a small garden for her there. i'm not sure about doing that here. here it couldn't be permanent. i don't know where i'd feel a connection to her.
oh great! the landscapers are here! so much for peace and quiet! wonder why today? they're usually here on tuesday's!
oh well. somehow i'll muddle through!
For Old Times Sake
i've had 2 other blogs on this site and i just wanted to include what i wrote there in this blog since i'm actually keeping up with this one!!
Good and Bad, This is My Story
SheWalksByMoonlight Location:Matawan, New Jersey, United States
Thursday, October 20, 2005
a couple of months ago, feeling stuck, i emailed my girlfriend for some writing advice. in her response about her own writing struggles, she told me of her blog. i'd never heard of such a thing! (i'm no computer/internet genius, but, i do ok!)
finally, a couple of days ago, i got the chance to check out her blog and her site, and decided this whole thing is pretty neat! (yes, i said "neat!" no, i'm not that old, thank you very much! it's just the word that came to mind!) and since then, i've been toying around with the idea of starting my own, but, 2 things kept coming to mind as i "toyed!"
#1: what about protection against plagerism?! what if i unknowingly spit out bits of burried treasure here and there and someone reading blogs discovers it and and absconds with it on me?! after having that mild panick attack, i remembered the most valuable lesson out of all my college writing classes: the poor man's copy right! ok, that problem solved...
now, onto #2! who the heck in their right minds would want to read anything i have to say about anything?! (this is what plagues me through my writing! everything seems boring, ridiculous, too wordy, ill written, not as good as my favorite works/authors... you get the idea!) then i realized that i'd acutally be doing this for myself and i can't worry about what others may or may not think. (guess some of that cheesy self help mumbo jumbo's finally rubbed off on me... oh no!)
so, even with my personal critic chomping at the bit, here i am! i'm not sure where this journey will take me, but, you're welcome to come along! warning: i type without regard to capitalization as you can already tell! sometimes my spelling isn't too good (dyslexia'a a bitch!) and you'd better buckle up when you come along! this roller coaster ride gets pretty bumpy!!
SheWalksByMoonlight
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Moving On
(written 10/20/05)
my husband's asleep. the cats are asleep. i can't sleep. it's so very quiet this evening, too. unusual for a week night. not much traffic on the streets and the constant whine of fire truck sirens seems to have died down finally. (nearly every year once the cooler weather sets in and everyone begins using their fire places again, it seems the fire house across the street's working over time!)
anyway, we've found out we're moving. soon, we'll find out exactly when. (my husband has a 2nd job opportunity through which we will be able to live in a 2 bedroom apt., rent free). i'm excited and terrified, to say the least! maybe it's because i'm older this time around, but, when i moved in my late teens and early 20's, i never thought twice about it! now i sit here looking out my dining room window, thinking about all sorts of nostalgic and silly things, wanting to remember it all now that my time here appears to be coming to an end.
last week, feeling like a caged animal in our apt and craving fresh air, i sat in my garden during the afternoons, on a chair i've had for 2 years, in a garden i've kept for at least 5 years! on the 2nd day, i asked myself why in the 7 years i've lived in this apt., heck in the 10+ years i've lived in this apt. complex, why haven't i done this before?! i just sat there, letting the cool autumn air calm my frazzled mind. (of course, with all this rain we've been having, i'll soon need a small ark to be any where outside!) sunday i began to think of all the work it's going to take me to break the garden down, clean it up and out before we move. (should've thought of that before i got my hands dirty back in the day!)
and then a top concern came to mind: food! where will we get out weekend morning bagels?! our chinese food?! (that new place around the corner is excellent!) our pizza?! our subs?! (mike's is the best!) instead of having 10 food stores to chose from here, all within 5 to 15 minutes, there'll only be 5 where we're going within the same time frame! that cuts my shopping choices in half! you know how each store carries slightly different stuff, even stores in the same chain?! here i know exactly where to go to get anything i need - food wise, necessity wise, misc. & other wise!!
we also live within 15 minutes of a walmart, a barns & noble and 2 libraries! (you put me in a state i've never been in and i'll find a walmart! guaranteed! and the library thing is very important not just for books, but internet and printer access as well when your machines are on the fritz!)
and i finally like my pharmacists! after suffering at the hands of the devil's mineons at cvs for over 8 years, i started using my husband's pharmacy at the a&p last year and it's been smoothe sailing ever since! (a friendly pharmacist is hard to find! and i've got 2 of them!)
it's not just the material and convenience aspects of where we live i'm pondering. this town and it's surrounding area's have been home to me nearly 10 1/2 years now! when people ask me where i'm from, i don't say the town i was born and brought up in, i say this town!
no matter what the season, i know what it sounds and smells like here. the din of cars racing along the parkway 24/7 - the beeping of delivery trucks backing into the 7/11 - the train horns blowing as they pull into the station - my neighbors children playing outside in the court yard - the old bitty committe who gather on the porch in warmer weather to dish on anyone and anything - the hundreds of black birds who flock to the trees in the court yard every autumn and winter, 3 times a day like clock work (who also cause our cats to nearyl lose their minds every time!) - meets grillin' on bbq's spring to fall - garlic from the italian rest. - pork & fried rice from the chinese place - wood burning in fireplaces fall til summer - honey suckle from late spring to summer - car exhaust when there's a major back up on the parkway - salt and sea weed from the bay and creeks at low tide - cigarrettes and candles from my down stairs neighbors apt... it all smells so familiar to me. smells like home.
i can see the sun set every day from my kitchen window. how many people can say that?! how lucky have i been these 7+ years to be able to see it nearly every day? even luckier now that i realize how special that is.
don't get me wrong. this isn't like breaking up and suddenly forgetting all the bad things that happened. i've had some of the absolute worst times of my life here! abusive relationships, lonliness, isolation, no food in the apt., no $ for any necessity or utility, denied welfare and housing assistance, nearly evicted, getting sued... getting deathly ill and losing my baby (girl)...
but, since first meeting my husband last year, i've finally started having the best times of my life! this is where we've started out life together, had our 1st dates, our 1st kiss, spent our 1st holidays, we were married this past may one town over from here...
i've started taking pic's, at cheesequake state park, of my halloween decorations outside...
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight
Thursday, October 27, 2005
October is also Domestic Violence Awareness month!
i know it's a little late in the month for this, but, i believe this is as important as (breast) cancer awareness, if not more!
in the past, i've been abused physically, mentally and sexually in different realtionships. starting last year, i call and get help when i/we (me + husband) feel i need it. sometimes i go by myself, other times i go with my husband.
call 800-572-SAFE or go online for yourself or a friend. any kind of abuse is a painful, slow death which isn't necessarily cured just because the abuse stops. trust me, time doesn't always heal all wounds and sometimes you just can't do it on your own, no matter how hard you try.
i'd like to know where are the purple bracelets for this cause?! (if anyone out there does know of any, please let me know!)
and let's not stop here with domestic abuse, what about child abuse too?!
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight at 4:21 PM
2 Comments:
Askinstoo said...
Nice Blog!!! I thought I'd tell you about a site that will let give you places where
you can make extra cash! I made over $800 last month. Not bad for not doing much. Just put in your
zip code and up will pop up a list of places that are available. I live in a small area and found quite
a few. MAKE MONEY NOW
1:23 PM SheWalksByMoonlight said...
what does this have to do with domestic violence awareness?! absolutely nothing. i do not appreciate comments as superficial as this in regards to such a serious subject. to all: do not leave comments like this on any of my pieces. thank you. she walks by moonlight, 10/28/05.
Friday, November 11, 2005
this is going to be my last posting as "she walks..." as i've decided this name does not fit me, never has, though i have used it off and on through the years for other purposes. i'm going under a name that fits me better, though not entirely yet. a strong name, a name that is going to help me become who i really am. so long for now!!
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight at 11:41 AM
And so on...
About Me
Name:SheRites
Friday, November 11, 2005
She Rites?!
Well, I wanted to use my Sex & The City message board id, SheWrites, but, alas, blogger wouldn't let me since that wasn't available, so, my official id for here is SheRites! But, I will sign off as SheWrites on my postings, not to ruffel anyone's feathers! I love the name SheWrites! It's a stong, powerful name that reminds me of who I really am and want to become and will give me the strength to do so! So long for now! -SheWrites
posted by SheRites
Good and Bad, This is My Story
SheWalksByMoonlight Location:Matawan, New Jersey, United States
Thursday, October 20, 2005
a couple of months ago, feeling stuck, i emailed my girlfriend for some writing advice. in her response about her own writing struggles, she told me of her blog. i'd never heard of such a thing! (i'm no computer/internet genius, but, i do ok!)
finally, a couple of days ago, i got the chance to check out her blog and her site, and decided this whole thing is pretty neat! (yes, i said "neat!" no, i'm not that old, thank you very much! it's just the word that came to mind!) and since then, i've been toying around with the idea of starting my own, but, 2 things kept coming to mind as i "toyed!"
#1: what about protection against plagerism?! what if i unknowingly spit out bits of burried treasure here and there and someone reading blogs discovers it and and absconds with it on me?! after having that mild panick attack, i remembered the most valuable lesson out of all my college writing classes: the poor man's copy right! ok, that problem solved...
now, onto #2! who the heck in their right minds would want to read anything i have to say about anything?! (this is what plagues me through my writing! everything seems boring, ridiculous, too wordy, ill written, not as good as my favorite works/authors... you get the idea!) then i realized that i'd acutally be doing this for myself and i can't worry about what others may or may not think. (guess some of that cheesy self help mumbo jumbo's finally rubbed off on me... oh no!)
so, even with my personal critic chomping at the bit, here i am! i'm not sure where this journey will take me, but, you're welcome to come along! warning: i type without regard to capitalization as you can already tell! sometimes my spelling isn't too good (dyslexia'a a bitch!) and you'd better buckle up when you come along! this roller coaster ride gets pretty bumpy!!
SheWalksByMoonlight
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Moving On
(written 10/20/05)
my husband's asleep. the cats are asleep. i can't sleep. it's so very quiet this evening, too. unusual for a week night. not much traffic on the streets and the constant whine of fire truck sirens seems to have died down finally. (nearly every year once the cooler weather sets in and everyone begins using their fire places again, it seems the fire house across the street's working over time!)
anyway, we've found out we're moving. soon, we'll find out exactly when. (my husband has a 2nd job opportunity through which we will be able to live in a 2 bedroom apt., rent free). i'm excited and terrified, to say the least! maybe it's because i'm older this time around, but, when i moved in my late teens and early 20's, i never thought twice about it! now i sit here looking out my dining room window, thinking about all sorts of nostalgic and silly things, wanting to remember it all now that my time here appears to be coming to an end.
last week, feeling like a caged animal in our apt and craving fresh air, i sat in my garden during the afternoons, on a chair i've had for 2 years, in a garden i've kept for at least 5 years! on the 2nd day, i asked myself why in the 7 years i've lived in this apt., heck in the 10+ years i've lived in this apt. complex, why haven't i done this before?! i just sat there, letting the cool autumn air calm my frazzled mind. (of course, with all this rain we've been having, i'll soon need a small ark to be any where outside!) sunday i began to think of all the work it's going to take me to break the garden down, clean it up and out before we move. (should've thought of that before i got my hands dirty back in the day!)
and then a top concern came to mind: food! where will we get out weekend morning bagels?! our chinese food?! (that new place around the corner is excellent!) our pizza?! our subs?! (mike's is the best!) instead of having 10 food stores to chose from here, all within 5 to 15 minutes, there'll only be 5 where we're going within the same time frame! that cuts my shopping choices in half! you know how each store carries slightly different stuff, even stores in the same chain?! here i know exactly where to go to get anything i need - food wise, necessity wise, misc. & other wise!!
we also live within 15 minutes of a walmart, a barns & noble and 2 libraries! (you put me in a state i've never been in and i'll find a walmart! guaranteed! and the library thing is very important not just for books, but internet and printer access as well when your machines are on the fritz!)
and i finally like my pharmacists! after suffering at the hands of the devil's mineons at cvs for over 8 years, i started using my husband's pharmacy at the a&p last year and it's been smoothe sailing ever since! (a friendly pharmacist is hard to find! and i've got 2 of them!)
it's not just the material and convenience aspects of where we live i'm pondering. this town and it's surrounding area's have been home to me nearly 10 1/2 years now! when people ask me where i'm from, i don't say the town i was born and brought up in, i say this town!
no matter what the season, i know what it sounds and smells like here. the din of cars racing along the parkway 24/7 - the beeping of delivery trucks backing into the 7/11 - the train horns blowing as they pull into the station - my neighbors children playing outside in the court yard - the old bitty committe who gather on the porch in warmer weather to dish on anyone and anything - the hundreds of black birds who flock to the trees in the court yard every autumn and winter, 3 times a day like clock work (who also cause our cats to nearyl lose their minds every time!) - meets grillin' on bbq's spring to fall - garlic from the italian rest. - pork & fried rice from the chinese place - wood burning in fireplaces fall til summer - honey suckle from late spring to summer - car exhaust when there's a major back up on the parkway - salt and sea weed from the bay and creeks at low tide - cigarrettes and candles from my down stairs neighbors apt... it all smells so familiar to me. smells like home.
i can see the sun set every day from my kitchen window. how many people can say that?! how lucky have i been these 7+ years to be able to see it nearly every day? even luckier now that i realize how special that is.
don't get me wrong. this isn't like breaking up and suddenly forgetting all the bad things that happened. i've had some of the absolute worst times of my life here! abusive relationships, lonliness, isolation, no food in the apt., no $ for any necessity or utility, denied welfare and housing assistance, nearly evicted, getting sued... getting deathly ill and losing my baby (girl)...
but, since first meeting my husband last year, i've finally started having the best times of my life! this is where we've started out life together, had our 1st dates, our 1st kiss, spent our 1st holidays, we were married this past may one town over from here...
i've started taking pic's, at cheesequake state park, of my halloween decorations outside...
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight
Thursday, October 27, 2005
October is also Domestic Violence Awareness month!
i know it's a little late in the month for this, but, i believe this is as important as (breast) cancer awareness, if not more!
in the past, i've been abused physically, mentally and sexually in different realtionships. starting last year, i call and get help when i/we (me + husband) feel i need it. sometimes i go by myself, other times i go with my husband.
call 800-572-SAFE or go online for yourself or a friend. any kind of abuse is a painful, slow death which isn't necessarily cured just because the abuse stops. trust me, time doesn't always heal all wounds and sometimes you just can't do it on your own, no matter how hard you try.
i'd like to know where are the purple bracelets for this cause?! (if anyone out there does know of any, please let me know!)
and let's not stop here with domestic abuse, what about child abuse too?!
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight at 4:21 PM
2 Comments:
Askinstoo said...
Nice Blog!!! I thought I'd tell you about a site that will let give you places where
you can make extra cash! I made over $800 last month. Not bad for not doing much. Just put in your
zip code and up will pop up a list of places that are available. I live in a small area and found quite
a few. MAKE MONEY NOW
1:23 PM SheWalksByMoonlight said...
what does this have to do with domestic violence awareness?! absolutely nothing. i do not appreciate comments as superficial as this in regards to such a serious subject. to all: do not leave comments like this on any of my pieces. thank you. she walks by moonlight, 10/28/05.
Friday, November 11, 2005
this is going to be my last posting as "she walks..." as i've decided this name does not fit me, never has, though i have used it off and on through the years for other purposes. i'm going under a name that fits me better, though not entirely yet. a strong name, a name that is going to help me become who i really am. so long for now!!
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight at 11:41 AM
And so on...
About Me
Name:SheRites
Friday, November 11, 2005
She Rites?!
Well, I wanted to use my Sex & The City message board id, SheWrites, but, alas, blogger wouldn't let me since that wasn't available, so, my official id for here is SheRites! But, I will sign off as SheWrites on my postings, not to ruffel anyone's feathers! I love the name SheWrites! It's a stong, powerful name that reminds me of who I really am and want to become and will give me the strength to do so! So long for now! -SheWrites
posted by SheRites
How Appropriate...
May 8th, 2006 10:04:21 am
that it's cloudy & a bit dreary today, i thought as i awoke this morning. it's 7 years today that my baby girl passed. (i'm sorry that i don't get into further detail - the circumstances are too private & painful for me to discuss.)
i don't know what to do with myself today. i'd like to lite a candle for her, but, may have to wait until my husband gets home since i can't drive & it would be a heck of a walk from here.
there's no weeding or watering to be done since i did it over the wkend. (so much fun, by the way, when you've torn your right url ligament & triceps tendon & you're right handed!!)
i guess i could tidy up our bedroom since it looks like the laundry bags exploded in here!
i could walk to the library and ck in on my online class that i cannot access from home anymore because the site "remembers" that my computer "rejected" a "cookie" (accidentially) and since the site essentially "remembers," resetting my internet options will not change the fact that i cannot access it. (all that got me was spyware cookies & the alphacleaner trojan which hijacked 34 or my files before i got rid of it!)
maybe i'll just get lost on here for the next few hours!
i just don't know.
i'm a bit numb acutally. which, i guess, is an improvement over how i've been on this day in past years. but, in some ways i feel guilty that i'm not an absolute mess this year. i told a friend who's husband passed away recently that it doesn't necessarily get better - you just realize one day that it's different. i'm not sure that it gives credence to the addage "time heals all wounds" though. i'm not sure some things heal - you just learn to live with them.
i wish there was a specific place i could go but there isn't. once we own our own home, i'd like to make a small garden for her there. i'm not sure about doing that here. here it couldn't be permanent. i don't know where i'd feel a connection to her.
oh great! the landscapers are here! so much for peace and quiet! wonder why today? they're usually here on tuesday's!
oh well. somehow i'll muddle through!
that it's cloudy & a bit dreary today, i thought as i awoke this morning. it's 7 years today that my baby girl passed. (i'm sorry that i don't get into further detail - the circumstances are too private & painful for me to discuss.)
i don't know what to do with myself today. i'd like to lite a candle for her, but, may have to wait until my husband gets home since i can't drive & it would be a heck of a walk from here.
there's no weeding or watering to be done since i did it over the wkend. (so much fun, by the way, when you've torn your right url ligament & triceps tendon & you're right handed!!)
i guess i could tidy up our bedroom since it looks like the laundry bags exploded in here!
i could walk to the library and ck in on my online class that i cannot access from home anymore because the site "remembers" that my computer "rejected" a "cookie" (accidentially) and since the site essentially "remembers," resetting my internet options will not change the fact that i cannot access it. (all that got me was spyware cookies & the alphacleaner trojan which hijacked 34 or my files before i got rid of it!)
maybe i'll just get lost on here for the next few hours!
i just don't know.
i'm a bit numb acutally. which, i guess, is an improvement over how i've been on this day in past years. but, in some ways i feel guilty that i'm not an absolute mess this year. i told a friend who's husband passed away recently that it doesn't necessarily get better - you just realize one day that it's different. i'm not sure that it gives credence to the addage "time heals all wounds" though. i'm not sure some things heal - you just learn to live with them.
i wish there was a specific place i could go but there isn't. once we own our own home, i'd like to make a small garden for her there. i'm not sure about doing that here. here it couldn't be permanent. i don't know where i'd feel a connection to her.
oh great! the landscapers are here! so much for peace and quiet! wonder why today? they're usually here on tuesday's!
oh well. somehow i'll muddle through!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Cookies, cookies, f'n cookies!
whomever invented computer cookies needs to be tarred, feathered and throttled to no end and that's putting it mildly.
because i rejected a cookie once to a site which i am trying to take an online writing fiction course, i am unable to logon to the site to access the class. so why was i able to register for the blasted thing to begin with then?!
i have done everything that their tech support, my internet tech support and ms support have told me to do concerning cookies, trusted sites and popups and all that's gotten me is spyware cookies and a trojan that i cannot get rid of, which has moved from one file to another now. i did what the systems person @ my local library told me to do and that just got me more spyware cookies!
aparently the site is one that "remembers" ip addresses and since it tried to send a cookie out to my computer's ip address once & i rejected it, it will not try to send one again and resetting my options will do me no good.
you've got to be kidding me! and all this technology is supposed to make our lives faster & easier?!
because i rejected a cookie once to a site which i am trying to take an online writing fiction course, i am unable to logon to the site to access the class. so why was i able to register for the blasted thing to begin with then?!
i have done everything that their tech support, my internet tech support and ms support have told me to do concerning cookies, trusted sites and popups and all that's gotten me is spyware cookies and a trojan that i cannot get rid of, which has moved from one file to another now. i did what the systems person @ my local library told me to do and that just got me more spyware cookies!
aparently the site is one that "remembers" ip addresses and since it tried to send a cookie out to my computer's ip address once & i rejected it, it will not try to send one again and resetting my options will do me no good.
you've got to be kidding me! and all this technology is supposed to make our lives faster & easier?!
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